number 23

food & thought
There was coffee, of course, and strawberry yogurt in a bowl with crunchy cereal to make me feel better about myself and half of a banana that looked far, far past ripe but was sweet and cut up just fine and mixed together and then more coffee and today it is my father's mother's birthday and she is 89 years old and I call her Papaw and she loves fiercely even as her mind has abandoned her and who she has always been fades, replaced by a shrivelling woman afraid and awake in the dark and we -- none of us -- know what to do -- not with her or anyone else -- so we do all we can: we pray and we keep on trying to love -- her and everyone else -- and it was a day for lots of coffee and good talks and a birthday call to this sweet woman, getting old now, that we love so much and so badly and so more than we can lay down neatly sewn and said.

Papaw's Going Song
The eggshells of all your round
years piled at your feet, you stand
Grandmother, new life calling.